SMA-NA Monkey Love???

My collegue and friend, Rand Fishkin (aka randfish) of posted a note encouraging people to join the Search Marketing Association of North America (SMA-NA), but apparently drew the ire of the, uhhhh... "Sex with Monkeys Association - No Apes (SMA-NA) in the process.

I can assure you that I take speciesism seriously and will get to the bottom of this barrel of monkeys ASAP. Further, we have notified the SPCA and will carefully monitor the effects of search engine professionals on simian sexuality from here on ;)

Note Passed on to me from Rand Follows:

Dear Mr. Rand,

I've found your blog to consistently be a worthwhile tool, and as someone who's continually struggling in the rankings, I appreciate your advice and insight. As a longtime fan of your work, you can imagine my joy at seeing the title of your post today - "Join the SMA-NA".

However, upon further reading, I was met with rather crushing disappointment.

As you may likely know, I am both the founder and reigning king of the "Sex with Monkeys Association - No Apes", and our flagship chapter, located in Clearwater, Florida, is already 16 members strong, having grown steadily since our inception in April, 2003.

Sadly, we have no other chapters. But 16 members, paired with a dozen little Capuchins - well, I don't need to tell you that there are times when I think that the human to monkey ratio is far too low...

Naturally, we've had our share of critics, of staunchy right-wing bigots who want to prevent us from making love to monkeys. They realize neither the fine, nuanced joy of making love to a Simian, nor the inherent beauty that these animals posess.

I especially like their little fuzzy genetalia.

But we struggle against persecution, as radical-thinking, brave progressives must. We are martyrs. We've come to accept it. We continue with our message and our mission. Naturally, the field of SEO is important to us for this exact reason - we must get our message out, must find others who share our beliefs and who are willing to join in our crusade.

I've worked incredibly hard to get SMA-NA ranking well on Google, Yahoo!, and MSN search. So you can imagine my reaction when I see you so blantantly toss a link to our homophonic nemesis, our arch-doppelganger, the Search Marketing Association of North America. And offer them business to boot!

We personally offer services that are every bit worthwhile as the other (or as I call them, the fraudulent) SMA-NA, but do we get any free listings? Any huge incentive for visitors of your site to later head to ours?

Apparently not.

Rot in hell, Mr. Rand, for not being able to appreciate the sweetness that is monkey love. Then again, if you lack something like that in your life, you are perhaps already in hell...

Horatio Algiers

1 comment:

AussieWebmaster said...

I love monkeys